The Adventures of Petra Laszlo and her Chun Li spinning bird kick of prejudice

If a super mean Hungarian woman reporter person trips a Syrian refugee fleeing persecution with his son and he falls running across the Hungary-Serbia border and nobody’s there to see, did it really happen? Yes. Also true if it’s seen by billions virally across multimedia news platforms and social media networks.

Candidate for the 2015 smug face awards Petra Laszlo, despite being caught out on film for karate kickin’ runnin’ refugees for fun, now wants to sue one of her victims. Such a shithouse lady really doesn’t deserve such a cool name. I shall be referring to the cootie queen formally known as Adolf Titler for the remainder of this discussion.

Now according to Adolf Titler’s view, it’s perfectly okay to target ethnics in hardship with your big fat foot then cry woe is me. It’s like the school bully that finally gets revenge-wedgied in the cafeteria line then cries to his parents. And by ‘parents’ I mean single mother who rues the day your emergence within her womb robbed her of the best years of her chain smoking, sailor chasin’ hard partyin’ lifestyle. I haven’t forgotten you, Nigel, if you’re reading. Your wedgies only made me stronger and more independent, like the mighty Beyonce. And ha, the wedgie of your own unemployable directionless life stings and chafes like a bitch, don’t it, Sonny Jim? There’s ‘Murican kids that sue Mcdonalds for making them fat, and the bright sparks that sue cigarette companies for giving them cancer. I’m currently in the process of weighing my legal options in regards to suing Robert Zemeckis for providing me with the false hope of hover boards, a loveable white-haired scientist father-figure to make science fun and self-tying laces because I’m loreal’.

The tactics of the Adolf Titlers of the world are certainly not unique or even very original, but they should be condemned. Every Titler found of such 1930s behavior deserves to have wet potato peelings flung in their general direction regardless. By all means, be uncompassionate to your fellow man but be prepared to face the consequences from the modern law, tech savvy millennials and decent human beings across the globe. Biatch.



About Aaron Jakovich

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Having recently swiped left on the materialistic Judas that is traditional conformity, Aaron now spends his days and nights in observance of the ever evolving and intertwining habits of society, culture and the general state of “us,” all the while referring to himself in third person for no clear reason.